Here's a little glimpse into my life. Kitten still isn't consistently sleeping through the night and was up for two hours last night. I woke up with both Lovey and Kitten at 6:20 on about 4 or 5 hours sleep. Like most mornings of this nature Lovey and Kitten were very demanding of my time and Honey was put the door to work by 6:30. We layer in my bed and the girls had milk while I tried to sleep. Lovey had other ideas and either sang or talked the entire time. Kitten finished her milk and leaned over to try to grab Lovey's glasses.
I finally give up and take them both downstairs. In the next two hours I have to: make coffee, drink coffee (hopefully and hopefully still warm), feed three people, pack a snack and a backpack, dress three people, force one person to eat and pee and get her hair brushed while trying to remain calm and simultaneously bribe her with TV shows. Whilst this forcing occurs a little person with a new found love of practicing her bite is whining at my leg begging to be picked up so she can sink her chompers into my shoulder.
When mornings are like this something's gotta give. And I will be damned if it's me. So these are the days the following attire is required: unwashed ponytail, baggy yoga pants, a stained, ripped hoodie, and slip on sneakers. I have no time for anything else on these days. These are the days I'm lucky if I remember to brush my teeth. And yes I wear this attire to school drop off and occasionally to the grocery store. Gasp.
I have been a fan of Stacy and Clinton's work for years. I love What Not to Wear and have learned a lot about my style in the process. I have learned that the above attire is strictly forbidden in public. They very often go straight for the fuzzy fleece garments and throw them directly into the trash. They abhore the word "comfortable". They find practical sneaker unsightly. They call comfort clothes "giving up". (I call it survival.) I get it. Not attractive or stylish. Not for public viewing. Honestly, I'd be shocked if Stacy or Clinton wore sweats in private. I picture them lounging on the couch in sheath dresses and seersucker suits. But I'm pretty sure neither Stacy nor Clinton has children, or watches said non-existent children full-time. Or has children and has to go off to work after a morning like that. Therefore, as the saying goes, they "just don't get it".
So to all you mommies out there, whether you're a stay at home mom or a working mom who has ever had a morning like this, fear not. I give you permission to get through the day however you can and if it means dressing like a schlub, so be it. If Stacy and Clinton don't like it they can kiss my yoga pant covered ass.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Some thoughts on weight.
-I have had a battle with my weight my whole life. I was always a chubby kid and growing up I never really had a healthy understanding of food and nutrition. Until recently I don't think I ever saw food as nourishment for my body, but for my emotions.
-I grew up with a morbidly obese mother. My stepfather is also obese, as was my late mother in-law. My mother in-law died as a result of complications from her obesity. I have a fear of becoming morbidly obese. My healthy eating role models are lacking. Everything I've learned about healthy eating I taught myself.
-In 2007 I successfully got to and maintained my lowest weight. I had a healthy BMI for the first time ever. I did it with the help of Weight Watchers, and actually went on to work for them, and exercise. But I still didn't make the mind shift about why we eat. By November 2007 I was pregnant and while I lost most of the weight, I never really had the focus I had back then.
-Flash forward to today. Two kids, an extra 10 pounds and a recent diagnosis with a wealth of food allergies. You can read all about that here.
-Food allergies have definitely helped me see food as nourishment as has my own self improvement (that sounds trite) which has helped me face my demons head on. I also have to say that like all other things Honey is my constant supporter.
-The food allergies have really been a wake up call to get my health and my weight in check. Since Kitten was born I've been making one half hearted attempt at weight loss after another. To no avail, the weight stays. What I needed was a radical change.
-And then it hit me, my aha moment. I am addicted to my scale. I've known for some time but never acknowledged it. Until now. I stumbled upon the blog Oh She Glows through Pinterest and read about Angela's journey to becoming a vegan after struggling with disorder eating. She also shared that she doesn't weight herself. I too had a history of disordered eating. After grad school living alone on Cape Cod, unknowingly suffering some depression I binged. And binged. Being that I'm a person who hates to vomit I never purged, I just got fatter. Realizing my depression allowed me to move and join Weight Watchers and recognize my binge behavior but to this day I have to watch those habits so they don't creep up. Except they did and I didn't realize it. I was binging on the scale. I was weighing myself daily, sometimes twice a day. I used the scale as the gauge for what I would wear, what I would eat, how I would feel. If the number was low i would rejoice and eat a cookie. If the number was high I would fret, eat a salad for lunch, and hit the gym. And yet, there were never any major results, just more dissatisfaction with my weight. Are you seeing how vicious a cycle this was?
-After a talk with Honey I decided to give up the scale. The goal is to go a month without weighing myself although I can step on in two weeks if I need to. I'll be honest, I'm three days in and it has been really hard. Really hard. I need a fix bad. But I keep telling myself to stay the course. Instead of focusing on the number on the scale I'm trying to focus on eating healthy and exercising. I'm hoping to see results not only in a number but also in how I feel, and in my clothes. I need to get to a place where the number on the scale doesn't define me. I'm not there yet, but I'm trying.
My point in sharing this is to be honest with myself and to face my fears. Nothing great ever happens when you stand behind your fear. Makes me think of the Garth Brooks song Standing Outside the Fire, a favorite from my college days. I know there is someone out there with the same struggle as me. I hope this helps you too.
UPDATE: I had a slip. In full confession I will say that I didn't make it a full two weeks. I did make it a full week, but caved on Easter and stepped on the scale. I'm glad I did and I'm happy to report that it hasn't made me want to step back on. Weel, maybe a little. But I haven't.
-I grew up with a morbidly obese mother. My stepfather is also obese, as was my late mother in-law. My mother in-law died as a result of complications from her obesity. I have a fear of becoming morbidly obese. My healthy eating role models are lacking. Everything I've learned about healthy eating I taught myself.
-In 2007 I successfully got to and maintained my lowest weight. I had a healthy BMI for the first time ever. I did it with the help of Weight Watchers, and actually went on to work for them, and exercise. But I still didn't make the mind shift about why we eat. By November 2007 I was pregnant and while I lost most of the weight, I never really had the focus I had back then.
-Flash forward to today. Two kids, an extra 10 pounds and a recent diagnosis with a wealth of food allergies. You can read all about that here.
-Food allergies have definitely helped me see food as nourishment as has my own self improvement (that sounds trite) which has helped me face my demons head on. I also have to say that like all other things Honey is my constant supporter.
-The food allergies have really been a wake up call to get my health and my weight in check. Since Kitten was born I've been making one half hearted attempt at weight loss after another. To no avail, the weight stays. What I needed was a radical change.
-And then it hit me, my aha moment. I am addicted to my scale. I've known for some time but never acknowledged it. Until now. I stumbled upon the blog Oh She Glows through Pinterest and read about Angela's journey to becoming a vegan after struggling with disorder eating. She also shared that she doesn't weight herself. I too had a history of disordered eating. After grad school living alone on Cape Cod, unknowingly suffering some depression I binged. And binged. Being that I'm a person who hates to vomit I never purged, I just got fatter. Realizing my depression allowed me to move and join Weight Watchers and recognize my binge behavior but to this day I have to watch those habits so they don't creep up. Except they did and I didn't realize it. I was binging on the scale. I was weighing myself daily, sometimes twice a day. I used the scale as the gauge for what I would wear, what I would eat, how I would feel. If the number was low i would rejoice and eat a cookie. If the number was high I would fret, eat a salad for lunch, and hit the gym. And yet, there were never any major results, just more dissatisfaction with my weight. Are you seeing how vicious a cycle this was?
-After a talk with Honey I decided to give up the scale. The goal is to go a month without weighing myself although I can step on in two weeks if I need to. I'll be honest, I'm three days in and it has been really hard. Really hard. I need a fix bad. But I keep telling myself to stay the course. Instead of focusing on the number on the scale I'm trying to focus on eating healthy and exercising. I'm hoping to see results not only in a number but also in how I feel, and in my clothes. I need to get to a place where the number on the scale doesn't define me. I'm not there yet, but I'm trying.
My point in sharing this is to be honest with myself and to face my fears. Nothing great ever happens when you stand behind your fear. Makes me think of the Garth Brooks song Standing Outside the Fire, a favorite from my college days. I know there is someone out there with the same struggle as me. I hope this helps you too.
UPDATE: I had a slip. In full confession I will say that I didn't make it a full two weeks. I did make it a full week, but caved on Easter and stepped on the scale. I'm glad I did and I'm happy to report that it hasn't made me want to step back on. Weel, maybe a little. But I haven't.
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