You're the survivor.

To say its been a stressful few weeks would be a vast understatement. Our house is still on the market and it seems it will not sell. We are faced with taking it off the market and putting more money into it to get out of it next year. Hopefully. That not the point of the story though, just a little update.

Honey and I had a date night a few weeks ago to get away from the stress for a few hours. Me went to Feng in Hartford and had some really good sushi. The tables were set really close to each other and so we were basically sitting on top of the people next to us. In the middle of dinner Honey leans over and says, "Excuse me, but I think I know you". Turns out he grew up with them and they knew his parents. We had a nice chat with them during which the wife asks me if I have siblings. I spontaneously answered "I have a sister who died when I was 12". This is surprising to me because my standard answer to strangers is "I'm an only child", it's just easier than explaining. She said something along the lines of "how terrible" to which I replied "it's just part of my story". Which it is. Because this story has made me who I am and for that I am grateful. Then she said something to me that made me respect her greatly and strengthen me in a way she will never understand. She took a deep breath and said "You're the survivor".

The thing is, I've always felt that way. I did survive the trauma of my childhood so that I could get to the other side to be the person I've become. That phrase has stuck with me ever since in these stressful days. If I can survive what I've already been through, I can survive anything, big or small.

In a cruel twist, the week after this conversation my real estate agent's daughter died suddenly after a long battle with drug addiction. I went to the wake not only because I care for my agent, but also because I know how difficult it is to be on the other side of the receiving line. I stood there trying desperately not to make this about me, fighting back tears. I made my way through the line and met the deceased woman's sister. She is now where I was some 23 years ago. Suddenly an only child. All I was thinking in my head, but never said because I was holding back my own emotions...You're the survivor. Even though I didn't have the strength to say it to her I hope she knows and carries it with her like I do.