Here's a little glimpse into my life. Kitten still isn't consistently sleeping through the night and was up for two hours last night. I woke up with both Lovey and Kitten at 6:20 on about 4 or 5 hours sleep. Like most mornings of this nature Lovey and Kitten were very demanding of my time and Honey was put the door to work by 6:30. We layer in my bed and the girls had milk while I tried to sleep. Lovey had other ideas and either sang or talked the entire time. Kitten finished her milk and leaned over to try to grab Lovey's glasses.
I finally give up and take them both downstairs. In the next two hours I have to: make coffee, drink coffee (hopefully and hopefully still warm), feed three people, pack a snack and a backpack, dress three people, force one person to eat and pee and get her hair brushed while trying to remain calm and simultaneously bribe her with TV shows. Whilst this forcing occurs a little person with a new found love of practicing her bite is whining at my leg begging to be picked up so she can sink her chompers into my shoulder.
When mornings are like this something's gotta give. And I will be damned if it's me. So these are the days the following attire is required: unwashed ponytail, baggy yoga pants, a stained, ripped hoodie, and slip on sneakers. I have no time for anything else on these days. These are the days I'm lucky if I remember to brush my teeth. And yes I wear this attire to school drop off and occasionally to the grocery store. Gasp.
I have been a fan of Stacy and Clinton's work for years. I love What Not to Wear and have learned a lot about my style in the process. I have learned that the above attire is strictly forbidden in public. They very often go straight for the fuzzy fleece garments and throw them directly into the trash. They abhore the word "comfortable". They find practical sneaker unsightly. They call comfort clothes "giving up". (I call it survival.) I get it. Not attractive or stylish. Not for public viewing. Honestly, I'd be shocked if Stacy or Clinton wore sweats in private. I picture them lounging on the couch in sheath dresses and seersucker suits. But I'm pretty sure neither Stacy nor Clinton has children, or watches said non-existent children full-time. Or has children and has to go off to work after a morning like that. Therefore, as the saying goes, they "just don't get it".
So to all you mommies out there, whether you're a stay at home mom or a working mom who has ever had a morning like this, fear not. I give you permission to get through the day however you can and if it means dressing like a schlub, so be it. If Stacy and Clinton don't like it they can kiss my yoga pant covered ass.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Some thoughts on weight.
-I have had a battle with my weight my whole life. I was always a chubby kid and growing up I never really had a healthy understanding of food and nutrition. Until recently I don't think I ever saw food as nourishment for my body, but for my emotions.
-I grew up with a morbidly obese mother. My stepfather is also obese, as was my late mother in-law. My mother in-law died as a result of complications from her obesity. I have a fear of becoming morbidly obese. My healthy eating role models are lacking. Everything I've learned about healthy eating I taught myself.
-In 2007 I successfully got to and maintained my lowest weight. I had a healthy BMI for the first time ever. I did it with the help of Weight Watchers, and actually went on to work for them, and exercise. But I still didn't make the mind shift about why we eat. By November 2007 I was pregnant and while I lost most of the weight, I never really had the focus I had back then.
-Flash forward to today. Two kids, an extra 10 pounds and a recent diagnosis with a wealth of food allergies. You can read all about that here.
-Food allergies have definitely helped me see food as nourishment as has my own self improvement (that sounds trite) which has helped me face my demons head on. I also have to say that like all other things Honey is my constant supporter.
-The food allergies have really been a wake up call to get my health and my weight in check. Since Kitten was born I've been making one half hearted attempt at weight loss after another. To no avail, the weight stays. What I needed was a radical change.
-And then it hit me, my aha moment. I am addicted to my scale. I've known for some time but never acknowledged it. Until now. I stumbled upon the blog Oh She Glows through Pinterest and read about Angela's journey to becoming a vegan after struggling with disorder eating. She also shared that she doesn't weight herself. I too had a history of disordered eating. After grad school living alone on Cape Cod, unknowingly suffering some depression I binged. And binged. Being that I'm a person who hates to vomit I never purged, I just got fatter. Realizing my depression allowed me to move and join Weight Watchers and recognize my binge behavior but to this day I have to watch those habits so they don't creep up. Except they did and I didn't realize it. I was binging on the scale. I was weighing myself daily, sometimes twice a day. I used the scale as the gauge for what I would wear, what I would eat, how I would feel. If the number was low i would rejoice and eat a cookie. If the number was high I would fret, eat a salad for lunch, and hit the gym. And yet, there were never any major results, just more dissatisfaction with my weight. Are you seeing how vicious a cycle this was?
-After a talk with Honey I decided to give up the scale. The goal is to go a month without weighing myself although I can step on in two weeks if I need to. I'll be honest, I'm three days in and it has been really hard. Really hard. I need a fix bad. But I keep telling myself to stay the course. Instead of focusing on the number on the scale I'm trying to focus on eating healthy and exercising. I'm hoping to see results not only in a number but also in how I feel, and in my clothes. I need to get to a place where the number on the scale doesn't define me. I'm not there yet, but I'm trying.
My point in sharing this is to be honest with myself and to face my fears. Nothing great ever happens when you stand behind your fear. Makes me think of the Garth Brooks song Standing Outside the Fire, a favorite from my college days. I know there is someone out there with the same struggle as me. I hope this helps you too.
UPDATE: I had a slip. In full confession I will say that I didn't make it a full two weeks. I did make it a full week, but caved on Easter and stepped on the scale. I'm glad I did and I'm happy to report that it hasn't made me want to step back on. Weel, maybe a little. But I haven't.
-I grew up with a morbidly obese mother. My stepfather is also obese, as was my late mother in-law. My mother in-law died as a result of complications from her obesity. I have a fear of becoming morbidly obese. My healthy eating role models are lacking. Everything I've learned about healthy eating I taught myself.
-In 2007 I successfully got to and maintained my lowest weight. I had a healthy BMI for the first time ever. I did it with the help of Weight Watchers, and actually went on to work for them, and exercise. But I still didn't make the mind shift about why we eat. By November 2007 I was pregnant and while I lost most of the weight, I never really had the focus I had back then.
-Flash forward to today. Two kids, an extra 10 pounds and a recent diagnosis with a wealth of food allergies. You can read all about that here.
-Food allergies have definitely helped me see food as nourishment as has my own self improvement (that sounds trite) which has helped me face my demons head on. I also have to say that like all other things Honey is my constant supporter.
-The food allergies have really been a wake up call to get my health and my weight in check. Since Kitten was born I've been making one half hearted attempt at weight loss after another. To no avail, the weight stays. What I needed was a radical change.
-And then it hit me, my aha moment. I am addicted to my scale. I've known for some time but never acknowledged it. Until now. I stumbled upon the blog Oh She Glows through Pinterest and read about Angela's journey to becoming a vegan after struggling with disorder eating. She also shared that she doesn't weight herself. I too had a history of disordered eating. After grad school living alone on Cape Cod, unknowingly suffering some depression I binged. And binged. Being that I'm a person who hates to vomit I never purged, I just got fatter. Realizing my depression allowed me to move and join Weight Watchers and recognize my binge behavior but to this day I have to watch those habits so they don't creep up. Except they did and I didn't realize it. I was binging on the scale. I was weighing myself daily, sometimes twice a day. I used the scale as the gauge for what I would wear, what I would eat, how I would feel. If the number was low i would rejoice and eat a cookie. If the number was high I would fret, eat a salad for lunch, and hit the gym. And yet, there were never any major results, just more dissatisfaction with my weight. Are you seeing how vicious a cycle this was?
-After a talk with Honey I decided to give up the scale. The goal is to go a month without weighing myself although I can step on in two weeks if I need to. I'll be honest, I'm three days in and it has been really hard. Really hard. I need a fix bad. But I keep telling myself to stay the course. Instead of focusing on the number on the scale I'm trying to focus on eating healthy and exercising. I'm hoping to see results not only in a number but also in how I feel, and in my clothes. I need to get to a place where the number on the scale doesn't define me. I'm not there yet, but I'm trying.
My point in sharing this is to be honest with myself and to face my fears. Nothing great ever happens when you stand behind your fear. Makes me think of the Garth Brooks song Standing Outside the Fire, a favorite from my college days. I know there is someone out there with the same struggle as me. I hope this helps you too.
UPDATE: I had a slip. In full confession I will say that I didn't make it a full two weeks. I did make it a full week, but caved on Easter and stepped on the scale. I'm glad I did and I'm happy to report that it hasn't made me want to step back on. Weel, maybe a little. But I haven't.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Books on my nightstand.
I don't often read more than one book at a time, unless I'm reading fiction and non-fiction. Although right now I've got four books going. Sheesh. The only non-fiction I seem to read these days are parenting books. Currently Lovey is going through a picky eater stage so I'm loading up on how to get your kid to eat books from the library. There's also the books I'm reading for book club and another book I grabbed from the library that is much better than I thought. So without further blabber:
The Night Stranger by Chris Bohjilian
Chris Bohjilian and Anne Lammott are my favorite authors. But even favorites have some duds sometimes. This might be one of them. I have put it down about 60 pages in and I will eventually pick it back up but I'm not in a hurry. The premise is the surviving pilot of a crash that killed all but 8 people moves into a haunted house. It has potential, I just haven't found it yet.
Stories I Only Tell my Friends by Rob Lowe
This one was the surprise. I picked it up when I went to the library to get the picky eater books. It is really good. Rob Lowe has an enjoyable writing style. His stories do sound like ones he'd tell his friends at a lingering dinner party with lots of wine. The number of celebrities that he has crossed patches with is pretty astounding, even for someone who is a celebrity. But at the end of the day, he really is just a middle class kid who made good. Definitely worth a library borrow.
Take the Fight Out of Food by Donna Fish
and Food Chaining by Cheri Falker
Ah yes, the picky eater books. The first one is great. It describes my daughters eating style to perfection. The Beige Food eater. In addition it also provides strategies to teach nutrition and good health to your child as a way of encouraging healthy eating habits. The best part is that it tells parents not to worry about the picky eater if they are growing and thriving. I needed that.
The second book is a little too technical and scientific for me. It delves into a feeding disorder evaluation and how to know when to seek one. We don't need that so aside from the chart in the appendix that lists all the different foods, drinks, and textures a child eats, this book is largely unhelpful. Really glad I didn't spend the money on it. It goes back to the library.
Other books yet to be read are Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins and One Morning, One Moment by Sarah Rylant. Both of these are book club books. We read the first book of the Hunger Games trilogy and got sucked in so decided to read the whole series. I zipped through the first two but I got the third for Honey for his birthday so I actually had to wait until his birthday to put it in my book pile. I'm looking forward to it. The other book I might not even have the title and author right on. I know nothing about it. We picked it randomly at book club for those people who finish the trilogy and are looking for something else. I'll let you know.
What books are on your nightstand right now? The club is always looking for suggestions. I am too.
The Night Stranger by Chris Bohjilian
Chris Bohjilian and Anne Lammott are my favorite authors. But even favorites have some duds sometimes. This might be one of them. I have put it down about 60 pages in and I will eventually pick it back up but I'm not in a hurry. The premise is the surviving pilot of a crash that killed all but 8 people moves into a haunted house. It has potential, I just haven't found it yet.
Stories I Only Tell my Friends by Rob Lowe
This one was the surprise. I picked it up when I went to the library to get the picky eater books. It is really good. Rob Lowe has an enjoyable writing style. His stories do sound like ones he'd tell his friends at a lingering dinner party with lots of wine. The number of celebrities that he has crossed patches with is pretty astounding, even for someone who is a celebrity. But at the end of the day, he really is just a middle class kid who made good. Definitely worth a library borrow.
Take the Fight Out of Food by Donna Fish
and Food Chaining by Cheri Falker
Ah yes, the picky eater books. The first one is great. It describes my daughters eating style to perfection. The Beige Food eater. In addition it also provides strategies to teach nutrition and good health to your child as a way of encouraging healthy eating habits. The best part is that it tells parents not to worry about the picky eater if they are growing and thriving. I needed that.
The second book is a little too technical and scientific for me. It delves into a feeding disorder evaluation and how to know when to seek one. We don't need that so aside from the chart in the appendix that lists all the different foods, drinks, and textures a child eats, this book is largely unhelpful. Really glad I didn't spend the money on it. It goes back to the library.
Other books yet to be read are Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins and One Morning, One Moment by Sarah Rylant. Both of these are book club books. We read the first book of the Hunger Games trilogy and got sucked in so decided to read the whole series. I zipped through the first two but I got the third for Honey for his birthday so I actually had to wait until his birthday to put it in my book pile. I'm looking forward to it. The other book I might not even have the title and author right on. I know nothing about it. We picked it randomly at book club for those people who finish the trilogy and are looking for something else. I'll let you know.
What books are on your nightstand right now? The club is always looking for suggestions. I am too.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Keep it simple.
In the ever present quest for self improvement I finally came up with three simple goals I'd like to accomplish everyday. The point of the goals is not to give me more work to do, but to make me feel more me. It seems I always have an issue with time for myself. I used to think it was just a mommy problem, now I've come to learn its actually a woman problem. We put everyone else first before us. I have struggled with this my whole life. Having a family certainly doesn't help. Don't get me wrong, I think men and daddies have this issue too, but it's different. I don't think men put as much pressure on themselves. I could be wrong. Any men care to weigh in? Oh, that's right, only two people read this.
Which leads me back to my goals. Three things I need to do everyday to feel like myself.
1) read. Anything. Well, not Facebook. But blogs count as reading, as do books or magazines.
(2) write. It doesn't have to be here on the blog, but anything. Writing has always been my creative outlet and I'd like to be more creative in my daily life. And I'd eventually like to write a book. But that's a story for another time. Literally. In all honesty, if I write daily I will get that much closer to the big-fear-scary-goal of writing a book.
(3) exercise. Every day. It helps me keep my sanity. It doesn't have to be hardcore cardio. It just has to be something exercise. I'm hoping my jeans will thank me.
It seems simple and so far I'm 1:1. I hope I can stick to it and see a difference in my overall attitude (and waistline) as a result.
Which leads me back to my goals. Three things I need to do everyday to feel like myself.
1) read. Anything. Well, not Facebook. But blogs count as reading, as do books or magazines.
(2) write. It doesn't have to be here on the blog, but anything. Writing has always been my creative outlet and I'd like to be more creative in my daily life. And I'd eventually like to write a book. But that's a story for another time. Literally. In all honesty, if I write daily I will get that much closer to the big-fear-scary-goal of writing a book.
(3) exercise. Every day. It helps me keep my sanity. It doesn't have to be hardcore cardio. It just has to be something exercise. I'm hoping my jeans will thank me.
It seems simple and so far I'm 1:1. I hope I can stick to it and see a difference in my overall attitude (and waistline) as a result.
Monday, March 26, 2012
The daughter takes a wife.
The other day Lovey was singing The Farmer and the Dell. She happily sang "the daughter takes a wife, the daughter takes a wife, hi ho a derry oh, the daughter takes a wife". I didn't correct her. I was actually proud. It means Honey and I are doing our jobs. It means Lovey doesn't see anything wrong with a girl marrying another girl. Since she was born Honey and I have made sure that when we talk about love and marriage we are either gender neutral or all inclusive. We tell her she can marry whomever she wants boy, girl, black, white, short, tall, fat, purple. You name it. As long as that person treats with respect. Now I just need to see if I can get her to teach that song to Kitten.
My inner voice called and I sent it to voice mail.
On Saturday Kitten had an accident and ended up in the ED. She's fine. Although her Dare Devil status still stands. Now that I've gotten over the mommy guilt of letting her get into a situation where she could hurt herself I found the lesson. Don't ignore your inner voice.
You know the one. Everyone has it. The little thought in your head that tells you something bad is about to happen. Well, I ignored it. And now my kid looks like a prize fighter. The last time I ignored my inner voice was the day Kitten was born. I knew I was in labor but somehow I ignored the voice. Kitten was born an hour after I got to the hospital. And then there was the time my inner voice told me to go in the basement because there was a tornado. But I ignored the voice. It was a tornado.
I wonder why it is that this voice gets ignored so much. Is it because we think we are invincible? Do we assume it's worth the risk and nothing bad can happen? I wish I knew. It does no good to ignore it. Whatever the reason I think I've finally gotten the strong dose of reality to ensure that I will always listen to it again.
You know the one. Everyone has it. The little thought in your head that tells you something bad is about to happen. Well, I ignored it. And now my kid looks like a prize fighter. The last time I ignored my inner voice was the day Kitten was born. I knew I was in labor but somehow I ignored the voice. Kitten was born an hour after I got to the hospital. And then there was the time my inner voice told me to go in the basement because there was a tornado. But I ignored the voice. It was a tornado.
I wonder why it is that this voice gets ignored so much. Is it because we think we are invincible? Do we assume it's worth the risk and nothing bad can happen? I wish I knew. It does no good to ignore it. Whatever the reason I think I've finally gotten the strong dose of reality to ensure that I will always listen to it again.
The other blog.
A while back I said I started another blog. It's just as neglected as this one. I'm trying to keep track of the allergy safe recipes somewhere. If you're interested you can check it out here.
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